


Waking Up Without You

by xxashleyxx



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Determined Mon-El, F/M, Flashbacks, Happy Ending, KaraMel, Lonely Kara, Memories, Mon-El Is Now Immune, PREPARE YOURSELF IT'S REALLY SAD, Post Finale Theory, Post Nevertheless She Persisted, Post Pod, Post-Finale, Reunion Fic, Reunion Sex, Sad Mon-El, Sad with a Happy Ending, Tissue Warning, depressed kara, get the tissues, post 2x22, sad kara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-22 04:38:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11372733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxashleyxx/pseuds/xxashleyxx
Summary: "There were moments where she thought that she was okay; the times where she almost forgot that he wasn’t around. Then she’d remember, and it was like a montage of scenes would go through her head. A constantly playing loop that would remind her of everything she loved about him; everything he did that would make her laugh; everything he did that would make her feel special. A constant loop reminding her that he was in fact gone." -- Post 2x22: Nevertheless, She Persisted. Mon-El who is now immune to lead finds his way back to Kara.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! 
> 
> Apparently I'm taking a little break from "Finding Our Way Back" because I'm posting this piece for you all. I finished it a few days ago and just really wanted to get it out there even though I'm in the middle of FOWB.
> 
> It's going to be a three-part reunion fic that takes place five months after 2x22: Nevertheless, She Persisted. IT WILL BE SAD (with a Happy Ending of course). I'm sorry. I swear, I don't know where all this angst is coming from, but you might want to get your tissues ready for this one as I sobbed while writing it. Apologies, as I think I just needed to get some of the finale sadness out.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, for the kudos and the comments and the general love!!
> 
> (Also Happy Canada Day out there to all my fellow Canadians! Here's to another 150 great years!)

**Part One**

_“You’re okay,” she told him._

_“Kara--”_

_“I’ve got you,” she felt him falling into her as they walked._

_“Kara--” he tried again._

_“No, no,” she shushed him. “Don’t talk. Just save your energy.” He coughed harshly as he turned to face her._

_“There’s something I need to say,” his eyes locked onto hers as his hand slid aside the hair that had fallen in her face. “Wherever I go, I’m going to be better because of you.” He paused and she could feel herself falling apart, struggling not to cry. “You’ll be in my heart,” he coughed, “I promise I’m going to be the man,” he gasped, desperately trying to take in air, “…that you thought I could be. I promise.”_

_She couldn’t blink away the tears anymore. “You’ve made me so happy,” she cracked a broken smile at him. Then the idea came to her, her hands grasping at the chain that was always around her neck. “Here, here,” she removed the keepsake, holding it up in the air as she took his hand. “Take this.” She closed his hand around the necklace, both her hands holding his tightly, “This will keep you safe.” He pulled her toward him in a kiss, gasping against her mouth as he struggled to take in each and every breath._

_“I love you,” she whispered as she broke the kiss, her tears finally escaping after trying for so long to hold them back. “I should have said it before.”_

_“I love you,” he repeated back to her._

_Their lips connected again briefly before she tore away from him, “Okay, okay, you have to go. You have to go!” She urged him as he started to turn and move toward the pod, sliding in and sealing it up._

She told him that she’d take him somewhere safe. If only they’d decided before he’d gotten into that pod. If only they’d taken a _second_ to think of somewhere together. If only she’d known where it was that he had planned to go. At least then she’d know; where he was, what he was likely doing, if he was happy, if he was safe.

She shouldn’t have cut him off while they moved toward the pod. She shouldn’t have wasted time on the walk over. She should have let him say everything he wanted to say and then maybe there would have still been time for him to tell her. Maybe then she’d have some, if only very little, peace of mind.

That was five months ago and she still thought about that moment every second of the day; when he’d sealed up the pod and shot into the sky.

_It hit her hard every day._

Every time she’d turn around and expect him to be there at her side. Every time she’d make a joke and expect to hear him laughing somewhere nearby. Every time she’d roll over in bed, looking for his body, expecting his arms to wrap around her.

And then she’d remember that he wasn’t there.

He wasn’t going to be there.

He wasn’t coming back.

 _Ever_.

She knew she had to be strong. He was going to go off and be a hero. She needed to _continue_ to be a hero here. A hero like she’d been teaching him to be; like they were both supposed to be. The people of National City needed her to be strong. But it was hard to be strong when you were crumbling inside and didn’t know how to put yourself back together.

The hardest part was putting up the front. Spending all day pretending that you were okay. The agents at the DEO would smile at her and she knew what kind of smile that was: _pity_. They all knew what she had lost. They’d ask how she was doing, ask her if she needed anything, ask her how they could help and she just had to nod, plaster on something that resembled a smile and say that she was fine, that she didn’t need anything from them, that she was going to be okay.

There were moments where she _thought_ that she was okay; the times where she _almost_ forgot that he wasn’t around. Then she’d remember, and it was like a montage of scenes would go through her head. A constantly playing loop that would remind her of everything she loved about him; everything he did that would make her laugh; everything he did that would make her feel special.

A constant loop reminding her that he was in fact _gone_.

She stood in front of the door to her apartment, key in hand, but she was having trouble putting it in the lock. Not physically, of course. _Emotionally_. She didn’t want to go inside there because she knew what would greet her.

Nothing.

Silence.

Darkness.

Only empty rooms.

Memories.

The memories were the worst part. As much as she loved and wanted to cling to and remember every little thing about him, it just hurt too much.

But she couldn’t spend all night standing out here in the hallway, so she forced herself to find that one last piece of strength she could find today and open the door.

She threw her purse on the table, kicked off her shoes and pulled the glasses from her face.

She hadn’t eaten all day. Her eyes moved to the stove.

_“Happy Monday!” he called out as he turned away from the stove to look at her, that silly too-small apron draped over his chest and tied around his back._

_She had stumbled into the kitchen, pyjamas still on, hands rubbing at her sleepy eyes. “You’re up early for someone who had to work late last night,” she stated as her eyes looked to the clock on the wall._

_“I wanted to make sure you had a good breakfast before you started your first full week back at work.”_

_She smiled. She’d gotten her job at CatCo back last week, but this was technically her first_ full week _back. The giant plate of homemade pancakes and French toast showed just how excited he was for her at the miniscule celebratory moment in her life and she couldn’t suppress her smile._

_“You didn’t have to do this, you know,” she shook her head as she sat down on the stool across from him. “I’ve already been back at work three days.”_

_“I wanted to do it,” he smiled as he leaned in, pecking her cheek with a kiss as he did every morning over breakfast._

_“Well, thank you,” she sighed, her hand reaching up and cupping his chin. “I’m glad you like cooking. You spoil me,” she grinned at him._

_“I’d do anything for you, Kara.”_

Come to think of it, she wasn’t hungry after all.

Maybe there was a movie on TV that she could watch. Something black and white and old-timey comforting. She moved toward the sofa, her hand scrubbing across her face. She tripped and just barely saved herself from face planting into the coffee table. She looked down to find the culprit of her stumble, but she didn’t know why she bothered. She’d tripped over the same thing nearly every night, but she didn’t have the heart to move them.

A pair of his sneakers.

His favourite pair.

It was almost comforting to have them still there with her, still next to the sofa exactly where he’d left them. But part of her wished that he’d been wearing them when he’d flown off in that pod. He probably missed them. And maybe if he’d taken them she wouldn’t feel that ache in her chest every time her eyes accidentally landed on them.

_“Mon-El,” she scolded him from the kitchen. “You know the house rules. No shoes on the sofa.”_

_He smirked. She couldn’t even see him from where she was. She just knew him too well. “Yes, Kara. I’m well aware of your ridiculously strict loft-policies.” He toed off his sneakers, sliding them into the corner by the arm of the sofa._

_She moved toward him and whacked him in the chest with the back of her hand._

_“Ow,” he feigned hurt as his left leg and now shoeless foot moved onto the sofa again, his right staying put on the floor, his thighs widening to make room for her. She plopped down on the sofa, her body cradled against his, popcorn bowl in her hands as she leaned against his chest. His hand reached down and pulled the blanket on top of their lower halves and underneath the popcorn bowl. Her head fell back into his shoulder._

_“My ‘ridiculously strict loft-policies’ are what help to keep the chaos and mayhem out of our apartment.”_

_His smile was wide and she felt it against her cheek. “What’s so funny?” she asked, angling her head to the side as her hand moved to his face, tilting his gaze toward her._

_“You said ‘our apartment’,” he spoke softly._

_A quick hint of worry went through her as her hand fell from his cheek. “Well,” she started. “I mean, it feels like ‘our’ apartment. Should I not--”_

_“No, no,” he smiled. “I like that._ Our _apartment.”_

She sniffled as she slid his shoes back into place; neatly sitting them next to each other on the floor at the edge of the sofa’s arm.

Screw this. She didn’t want any of this. She just wanted to shower the day away and fall into bed. Hopefully her dreams tonight would be actual dreams and not nightmares; reliving the nightmare of them in that field standing next to the pod; the nightmare of losing him all over again.

She dragged her feet through the living room, nearly walking into the drapery hanging from her ceiling as she moved into her bedroom. She pulled at her clothing, tugging the pieces off her body and throwing them aside; garments flying into the corner on her way to the bathroom. She flicked the light on and sighed as she stared at the shower.

_The water pelted against her back; the temperature scalding, but she was Supergirl -- she didn’t even notice. She ran her hands through her hair, aiming to rinse all the shampoo out when she felt the movement behind her, a gust of wind flipping around her as he moved the shower curtain enough to step inside with her._

_“Morning…” he mumbled against her back, his lips kissing between her shoulder blades, “…again.” His hardness was pressing into her lower back as his hips leaned into her._

_“You are insatiable this morning,” she whispered at him, eyes closed as she continued to work the suds through her hair. She paused, “Who am I kidding? You’re insatiable every morning. And afternoon. And evening.”_

_He kissed the back of her neck, “It’s you, Kara,” he breathed against her shoulder. “You do this to me. Every moment of every day. I always want you.”_

_His hands slid around her waist, the fingers of his right hand skimming over her bellybutton before dipping lower and sliding through the trimmed hairs covering her sex._

_“Mon-El,” she sighed, leaning back into him, her stance widening. “We really can’t. We’re gonna be late.”_

_“Late? It’s Saturday.”_

_“DEO, Mon-El. You know that. We have to be there soon.” His hand slid lower, sliding between the lips of her sex and moving against her opening. “We have a city to protect,” she groaned out as her legs quivered._

_“We won’t need very long. I’ll be fast,” he promised as his thumb flicked across her clit. She let out a moan as her face fell into the crook of his neck._

_“Fast, please,” she whispered, her hand trailing down and falling on top of his own between her legs._

_“Yes, ma’am.” His hand moved away from her sex, moving to her hip to join his other as he bent her forward, her hands falling to rest on the wall in front of her as he entered her from behind._

She wiped at the tears that were slipping from her eyes. She couldn’t even shower in her own damn apartment without being accosted by memories of him. She flicked the light back off.

She’d shower tomorrow.

She moved toward her dresser drawers, pulling out one of his shirts and moving to put it on. She didn’t have the strength in her to part with his things. She wouldn’t know what to do with them. She didn’t want them to go to somebody else. Not when she still saw him in everything. She selfishly wanted to keep his things in her apartment, within her view, as sad as that often made her feel.

Her favourite part of the day had quickly become night time. The time when she could (try to) block out the memories and close her eyes and drift off to sleep. It was the time when she could dream about the life they would never get to have; the things they still hadn’t and never would experience together. She could dream about all those holiday dinners they wouldn’t share, the birthdays they couldn’t celebrate together, the wedding they’d never have, the children they’d never bring into this world.

At least if she were asleep, she wouldn’t have to put up that front to make people think she was okay when she wasn’t.

But sometimes she’d wake up crying; she’d reach behind herself and only come up empty, her hand grasping at and getting tangled in the cold sheets next to her. Then she was angry at herself because she couldn’t _stop crying_. She’d lie there in the darkness, tears easily flowing as she wondered where he was.

She didn’t need _all_ the answers; she just needed _something_. Something to let her know that he was okay. That he was alive. That he had made it wherever he had planned to go. That he was happy. She just wanted him to be _happy_. She knew she wasn’t, but she’d be okay if he was happy.

Instead she was stuck here without knowing anything. Worrying every day about something she was sure she’d never get answers about. Worrying about something that she wasn’t able to control, wasn’t able to fix, no matter how badly she wished that she could.

Her feet padded toward her bed. She was glad that her body was on autopilot because her brain was too sad and unfocused to tell her muscles what to do. She slid into bed, her eyes to the window, up at the stars in the night sky. She wondered if he was still floating out there somewhere. It had been a long time, but maybe he knew of somewhere that was a little farther away than she had imagined. Maybe he hadn’t even gotten there yet. Maybe it would take years of floating through space for him to arrive.

_“What’re you looking for?” he asked at a whisper against her ear in the darkness. He wrapped his arms around her waist, hugging her body close to his as their legs tangled together, hands intertwining._

_“Nothing really,” she whispered back. “Just thinking about what could be floating out there in space right now. I mean…you fell from the sky. So did I. I just wonder who else is out there…on their way to our Earth. Just trying to find a new home.”_

_He kissed her shoulder as she continued her thoughts aloud._

_“Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky to have you land here. Out of all the places on Earth that you could have fallen, you fell here. How we both landed in the same part of this world will never make sense to me.”_

_“Maybe it was just meant to be,” he smiled as he stared up at the stars from behind her. “We were just supposed to find each other."_

_“I’m glad you chose to stay here, Mon-El. To make this city your home.”_

_“You’re my home, Kara. This is where I belong. I don’t want to be anywhere else.”_

She rolled over and moved onto his side of the bed. His pillow didn’t smell like him anymore and the sheets always felt extra cold on this side, but she could at least usually fall asleep here…after a while.

She only slept on his side of the bed on the most difficult of nights; the nights when she felt like she couldn’t breathe; the nights when she felt like the walls were closing in on her; the nights when she wasn’t sure how she was going to wake up and face the day tomorrow.

But she had to.

She had to be strong. She knew _he_ was strong. He’d want her to carry on without him. He knew she had important things to do in this world, whether he was here beside her or not.

So she closed her eyes, willed her breathing to stay even and hoped that sleep would come, along with a comforting dream of the man she loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! It gets happy soon, I promise!
> 
> Follow me on Twitter: @_ashleymaria_
> 
> Add yourself to the KaraMel Fandom Map (we're up to 45 pins!): https://www.zeemaps.com/map?group=2594021


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!! Chapter 2 is finally here!
> 
> It's a little less sad, too.
> 
> I don't think this would happen on the show at all, but since I'm not an avid comic reader, I wasn't sure about doing anything in relation to the LOSH as I know about 0% of the plot in any of the comics LOL...and I wanted to try something different.
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!!

**Part Two**

His heart was pounding as he stood on the street corner and looked up at her apartment window. He took in a deep breath; in through his nose and out through his mouth. He relished in the fact that he could do that here again. After he had thought for so long that he’d never be back here. That he’d never stand on this corner again. Never stare up at that window again.

Never see Kara again.

Just thinking of her brought tears to his eyes. When he thought of her, her smiling face as she sat in his lap, her sleepy eyes at night as she watched him quietly just before she slipped into slumber, the way her eyes would light up when he’d surprise her with Chinese food on the way home from his shift at the bar. But then those memories would disappear, fading away and being replaced with her red tinged face, tears streaming down her cheeks as she waved at him and tried not to sob.

That was the memory that made him stand by Cisco’s side every day for the last five months until they figured out a way to get him back home to Kara; back where he belonged.

When Kara had told everyone about the Luthor device, about how no Daxamite could survive on the planet with its use, his heart had sunk to his stomach, his stomach fell to the floor, and he was pretty sure he was going to pass out. But then he quickly realized that he couldn’t stand in the way; he couldn’t stand in the way of the wellbeing of an _entire_ _planet_. And he wouldn’t let Kara have to make that decision.

_“Well, if it comes down to it, you use it.”_ He had said it and his heart clenched when he did. He couldn’t believe he was saying it but he knew that it was the truth. If their Earth was going to be taken over by _his_ mother, they _had_ to use it. There would be no other way to save everyone on the planet from her wrath. He’d sacrifice himself for that; his life on Earth for the wellbeing of billions.

It was when he was pacing the floor of the DEO that he thought of the idea; the idea in the case of a worst case scenario. If Kara _had_ to use the device, if she _had_ to expose them all to lead, only then would he need to use it. And if the DEO was missing it for a while, that would be okay. They’d never really used it before so they’d probably never miss it; never even notice that it was gone.

The interdimensional extrapolator.

The one that Cisco had given to Kara during the Invasion. The one that the Music Meister had stolen from Kara’s hand after he’d whammied her in order to get himself over to Earth Prime.

_Earth Prime_.

That’s where he could go. He took the device from the DEO and shoved it in the pocket of his uniform.

Except he’d forgotten about it.

After all that, he’d _forgotten_ about the device being in his pocket. Not that he knew how to use it in the first place…

He was so surprised when the breach appeared in front of him, seemingly out of nowhere and he couldn’t find a way to divert the ship in time; to avoid the gaping hole in the universe he’d just witnessed. He frantically looked to the buttons in front of him, momentarily forgetting how to program the ship as he panicked. He was so taken back, so surprised, that he didn’t even think of the hole as being a breach. It didn’t even occur to him that that’s what it looked like. Before he knew it, he was being sucked in, the pod being flung into the darkness and he shut his eyes. He felt the pod crashing to the ground, his body bouncing in his seat, the walls of the pod shaking around him.

When he opened his eyes, he was nearly attacked by the brightness of the rays of a yellow sun. He blinked confusedly as he tried to get his bearings. He was in a field, extremely similar, literally identical to the one he had just been in; the one where he had to leave a sobbing Kara.

But Kara wasn't there anymore.

He cautiously stepped out of the pod, his heart pounding as he took a breath. He didn’t feel that pain in his chest; that telltale burning in his lungs that told him there was lead in the air. Then his eyes finally caught the man standing in the distance.

_Cisco._

_Standing in the middle of the field, waving wildly at him. He squinted, shook his head and he was still standing there. They both moved toward each other._

_“You did this?” Mon-El asked when they finally reached each other._

_“Open the breach? Yeah. You activated the tracer...”_

_Mon-El stared at him blankly._

_“The interdimensional extrapolator?” he noted confusedly. “Didn’t you? It has communication functionality. You pressed the button, I was sent the tracking details of the device and I opened a breach in front of you. Pretty hard to do when you’re in a moving ship, by the way, so I’m glad it worked!”_

_His hand slipped inside his pocket and locked around the device that he’d hidden in there; the one that he’d forgotten about during all the craziness. He pulled it out and his eyes fell down to it. A little green light was blinking repeatedly._

_“See?” Cisco stepped closer to him, his finger pointing at the flashing light. “Communication function activated.”_

_“I didn’t press this, Cisco. I must have accidentally knocked it when it was in my pocket.”_

_“Oh...” he spoke, his eyes widening. “My bad! So, you don’t need my help then? Okay, good, I mean...I thought there was some kind of emergency. I responded and I didn’t get another notification back. I should have realized it was an accident when--”_

_“No, Cisco!” His hands moved to grab the man’s shoulders. “I need your help! I need to get home!”_

_“No problem, I can just open another br--”_

_“No, Cisco, wait. Let me explain.”_

It took Cisco, Caitlin and the team five months to figure out a way to beat the lead allergy; a way to prevent lead from affecting him entirely. They’d hidden him from the yellow sun for days at a time and then injected him with a substance that was able to change his immune system; to stop his body from reacting to lead as an invader on his system.

The tests were endless. The majority of them during the first few months he was on Earth Prime failed miserably. But eventually, they couldn’t cut his skin with it. Couldn’t pierce his veins with it. Melted lead had no effect. An aerosol version breathed in and out of his lungs didn’t burn anymore. They’d even shot him a few times with lead bullets and they’d just bounced right off of him.

He’d cried tears of joy and a few weeks later, when they were absolutely, positively sure that he could survive, they’d organized a practice run. Cisco opened a breach to Earth-38, they arrived, he breathed in the air for a few hours and they returned to Earth Prime. They’d waited a month. A torturous, anxiety filled month to see if anything happened to him; if his system just needed time to react to the lead, but he was fine. He hadn’t felt a thing.

_The injection had worked._

He could go home.

He could go back to Kara.

Yet he still stood here on the dark street corner when he really should have jumped through her window into her apartment by now. His heart was still pounding in his chest, his stomach clenching in knots, his head feeling dizzy.

What if she had changed her mind about them? What if she didn’t really miss him all that much? As far as she knew, she had no idea where he was and she thought he’d never come back. He _couldn’t_ come back. She was strong. She likely had found a way to move on and get over him; over their little love filled affair that had spanned merely a few months. She’d been doing fine before he’d arrived, falling into her life from the sky. Surely she’d be able to carry on, probably easier now without him hanging around at her heels all the time. She was so much more important here than he was. She wouldn’t spend her days thinking about him. She’d trained him well; she’d done her job. He was supposed to find a way on his own, as would she.

Would she even be happy to see him?

Maybe him coming back into her life would just complicate things again.

When he arrived at the corner, he saw her apartment light flick off, her shadow moving across the panes of the window in the darkness before falling, likely as she slid into bed. Maybe he shouldn’t bother her right now. It was late and she was likely tired.

But her window was still open. She always left her window open. He knew he could count on that. He’d go in there and if she was sleeping, he’d just leave. He only wanted to see her face for a second. Just a second so that he could get a new visual in his head. An image of her calm, content face that overcame her as she slept, so that he could replace the tear-stricken one of the last moment he had seen her.

So, because he was making himself too anxious, he leapt up and slid inside her apartment through the window, his feet landing with a quiet thump on her floor, a sound almost non-existent.

He looked over and into her bedroom. She lay there in bed, seemingly asleep with her back to the window. Just one peek. One peek at her beautiful face and then he’d go. He tiptoed toward her and hoped that she was too far gone to hear him and assume he was an intruder in her home. He moved toward her face, sliding across the floor before stopping in front of her.

He wished the room wasn’t so dark; at least then he could see her better. He almost wished he’d been mistaken and that she was awake. That way he’d be able to see those comets; those bright, shiny blues looking up at him and sparkling.

Her golden hair had fallen into her face. The strands were skimming across her nose and fluttering lightly with her even breaths in and out. He crouched down, his head becoming level with hers as he ever so slowly reached out, a single finger hooking around the curls and pushing them away off to the side. Her nose twitched and he quickly jumped back. Her eyebrows furrowed and she let out a little whine before turning over, her hands clutching the comforter tightly as she shifted beneath it. He smiled.

He’d missed her _so much_.

He glanced around the room. Maybe he’d stay for a little while. For just a little while he’d lie next to her, back on the bed that they used to share and just watch her sleep. Just to be near her again, if only for a little bit, and then he’d leave her alone. He didn’t want to overwhelm her by waking her up in the middle of the night. He’d find her at the DEO or somewhere tomorrow; seek her out calmly rather than ambush her with his presence in the middle of the night.

He slid off his shoes (even without his living there, likely the strict loft-policies still applied) and he moved around to the other side of the bed. Her side. That’s when he realized that she was sleeping on _his_ side of the bed. His eyebrows furrowed as he took in her appearance. Even in sleep her lips were in a small pout, her crinkle was pronounced and visible between her eyebrows and her eyes looked a little puffy around the edges. Her sleep shirt was baggy, the sleeves hanging long down her biceps as she clutched at the comforter, the neckline low, arching deep along her chest. He squinted as he watched her. He was pretty sure that was his shirt.

He looked around the room, his eyes drifting into the rest of her apartment. A pile of his clothes still sat atop her dresser. His favourite sneakers were still sitting by the sofa where he’d left them. His jacket was up on the hook by the front door and he was pretty sure that was his bottle of shampoo sitting on the floor by the bathtub. His eyes landed on her again.

Maybe she did miss him. Maybe this was just as hard on her as it was on him.

He moved closer to the bed, leaning on it gently as he reached to roll down the comforter. He thought about it briefly before he stripped down to his boxers and slid under the covers next to her; just like he used to all those months ago. He sighed lightly. His heart was aching in his chest. This was where he belonged. He’d missed this so much the past five months. All he could think about was Kara and now he was here, watching her face as she lay in front of him. He wanted to reach out and touch her, his hand just a light caress to her cheek but he knew that would likely startle her awake and he could now see how tired she looked; as if she weren’t getting enough sleep lately and the last thing she would want would be to be woken up.

He'd leave just before daybreak; before she woke up and noticed him here. He was okay now; they had time. He would find her tomorrow and tell her about their success on Earth Prime. He'd just watch her now for a little while longer, just so his heart would stop aching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading everyone! One more chapter to go!!
> 
> Follow me on Twitter: @_ashleymaria_
> 
> If you haven't already, add yourself to the KaraMel Fandom Map (we've DOUBLED since Chapter 1! We're now at 89 pins!): https://www.zeemaps.com/map?group=2594021


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back readers!!! Thanks for all the love and support for this fic (and all my other ones). We've reached the end of this one -- time to give our space puppies their reunion (a little sappy and a little smutty).

**Part Three**

_“Morning,” she whispered as her eyes fluttered open and connected with his. She smiled at him, “Have you been awake long? You should have woken me up.”_

_He shook his head against the pillow, “Not long. You looked so peaceful. I didn’t want to wake you.”_

_She stared back at him. “I love you,” she whispered, her hand sliding across the mattress to rest on his chest, her fingers gripping the tank top he was wearing and tugging him toward her._

_“I love you, too, Kara,” he whispered, “More than anyone else in my entire life.”_

_“I don’t want to lose you,” she continued on, tears grabbing at her throat as she stared at him, the same tears clouding her vision as she tried to focus on his face, tried to remember everything about him, memorize the look in his eyes when he’d said the words._

_“You’re not going to lose me,” he whispered back, a bright smile on his face, the sun shining at her from behind him. His face started to fade, her vision too distorted by tears so she closed her eyes. His hand came up and slid down her cheek. “I’m never going anywhere.”_

Her eyes fluttered open and she sniffled. Must be another one of those nights she woke up crying. Usually the light from the stars brightened up her room as they shone through her large window panes, even at the darkest time of night. But tonight, something was blocking her view. She tried to get her teary eyes to focus; to make sense of the dark blur in front of her.

She squinted at the blur before she shook her head and rubbed her eyes. Then she could see him. Clear as day.

_Mon-El_.

Her dream having transformed right into another, this vision was unlike the previous one; the one covered with soft light and fluffy clouds and the sun warming her face. This one was like the nightmares she feared each night would come to her when she closed her eyes; the ones where his face would appear before fizzling into nothingness when she reached out to cup his cheek in her hands.

He laughed as he watched her.

His laugh was so real. It echoed in the apartment and she felt the sound reverberate off of her chest as it hit her.

He was always so _real_ in her dreams.

His face so crystal clear in her mind, as if she could still see every single feature that he was made up of: his sparkling gray eyes, his bright smile, the short stubble at his cheeks, the smooth lines of his jaw.

He was staring back at her and, as she did every night, her fingers released the comforter as she reached up, her hand moving toward him. She always had to reach for him; to at least try to feel his skin beneath her fingertips. The only thing that would comfort her in her dreams was being able to touch him, as if he were really there.

“You always seem so real,” she whispered as her hand landed on his cheek. But, instead of his visage fading away as it usually did, her hand connected with his cheek, her palm scraping against the stubble on his face, sliding down the angles of his chin and she saw his eyes begin to fill with tears.

“Mon-El?” she questioned quietly, her voice cracking and at barely a whisper, almost not even audible when it left her lips.

“Hi,” he smiled, a tear slipping from the corner of his eye and falling down to the tip of his nose as it rolled along her hand still holding onto his cheek.

His tear. It was wet. She pulled her hand away from his face and her eyes looked to her fingertips in the darkness. She rubbed her fingers together. She felt it all. This was one of the most confusingly realistic dreams she’d ever had of him.

“I’m real, Kara,” he whispered, his voice cracking, choked by tears that were falling steadily now. “I’m here. I’m back.”

She let out a sob as her tired, worried mind tried to make sense of it all. She pushed herself off the mattress and sat up, looking down at him. He sat up after her, his own hands reaching out and landing on her waist, his hands gripping and releasing, trying to just _feel_ her body in his hands; to feel the weight of her presence again because she was _really there_.

“I--I don’t understand,” she whimpered as her own tears began to roll down her face. “How are you here? How are you okay?” The words tumbled out of her before her eyes widened, “Mon-El, you can’t be here!” she pushed at his chest and his hands slipped from her body. “The lead, it’s still here. You’re gonna--”

“Shhh,” he shushed her with a teary smile as his hand reached up and pushed her hair back behind her ear. “It’s a long story, and I was going to leave before you woke up so I didn’t freak you out…but I’m okay.” He exaggerated a smooth inhale and exhale before repeating the action. “See? I’m okay.”

She moved toward him, her hands reaching out to grab a hold of his chin, grasping his face and tugging him toward her, their foreheads connecting as another sob escaped her. “You’re okay?” she asked, her eyes searching his.

“I’m okay,” he repeated and he let out a sigh.

Then she was coming at him, her arms locking around his neck as she moved into his lap, her chest pressed to his as she knocked him off balance. He fell into the headboard behind him as he let out a laugh. Gosh, it felt good to finally _really_ laugh again.

“You’re okay,” she repeated and she sighed, her eyes slipping closed, a few final tears managing to slip out at the corners. He nodded against her. “I don’t understand how…”

“It’s a long story and I’ll tell you everything later, I promise. Just know that lead…I’m not allergic to it anymore. I can be here and it won’t affect me. Ever. We created an injection that would protect me.”

“We?” she questioned.

“Later,” he breathed. “It’s not important right now.”

She sighed in relief as she held onto him tightly. They sat in silence for a moment, just breathing each other in.

“I missed you,” he whispered as his arms tightened around her waist. “Every day I missed you.”

She sobbed against him, “I mi--miss--” she tried, but she couldn’t get the words out. That only made her cry harder. “I--”

He cut her off with a kiss; his lips pressing into hers softly, but with purpose. She whimpered against him and he felt her tears dampening his cheeks.

He’d dreamt of this nearly every night. Getting to kiss her again; having the chance to press his lips to hers, being able to connect with her again like they used to. She was falling into him, her entire body weight pinning him to the headboard and he’d never been so happy about her crushing strength than he was at this moment.

She pulled his lower lip into her mouth, her teeth nipping at it as she urged him to open his; to allow her tongue to meet his own. He obliged happily, easily, as his tongue moved to slide against hers. She moaned against him and he realized how much he’d missed that sound. He swiped his tongue against hers again as his hands gripped her waist tightly, silently pleading with her to repeat the noise. Her hands slid into his hair, combing through the strands as she let out another small moan and it made his cock twitch in his shorts. He wanted her more than anything, but his hands stayed safely glued to her waist.

Then he felt her moving above him, sliding back and forth in his lap; only the slightest of movements, but he felt every inch. That’s when he realized she wasn’t wearing any pants. He groaned loudly against her mouth upon realizing and she broke away from him.

“Are you hurt?” She asked worriedly and he almost had to laugh at her.

“I’m okay,” he insisted, “just…” he paused, his eyes slamming shut as she shifted in his lap. “It’s been a long time, Kara…”

She nodded, “I know, please,” she urged him. “I need to feel you. I need all of you.”

She leaned back to look at him, their eyes connecting as she waited for him to respond.

“But you’re tired, Kara,” he stated simply as he brushed her hair behind her shoulders with his hands. His fingers slid along her cheeks. “I can tell that you haven’t been sleeping. You may be Supergirl, but you still need to rest.”

“I’ve been trying,” she shrugged, “But I don’t want to sleep right now. I want to be with you,” she kissed him gently, her lips moving against his as she said, “We’ll sleep later.”

She could say that now. _We_. That was possible again.

“Make love to me?” she asked him, her lips moving against his.

He nodded against her without pause. Nothing else mattered right now. Nothing other than _them_.

His hands slid down to her legs, sliding along her naked thighs as they tightened around his own. Her hands were sliding down his chest, flicking across his nipples and moving down to his abs, her nails scratching through the patch of hair at his bellybutton.

His hands gripped the bottom of his shirt that she wore. “This is my shirt,” he whispered against her mouth as he confirmed it, his hands sliding back and forth along the familiar material. She nodded in response.

“I needed to feel close to you.” Her kisses moved to his cheek, down his chin and onto his neck, her fingers tightening around his torso as she gripped at him. He began to move the shirt upwards, lifting to remove it from her body. She hesitantly released him, allowing him to take it off, before she was back, her hands gripping tightly; needing to feel as much of him as possible every second; to reaffirm that he was really in fact here with her again.

His hands cupped her breasts, his thumbs skimming across each nipple as they hardened under his touch. She moaned as her back arched, her chest pressing further into his hands. Her own hands moved to his shoulders to stable herself and she felt herself go nearly limp in his arms. His touch just felt _so good_. She was grinding against the hardness in his boxers and she felt her legs becoming weak, quivering in anticipation of being with him again.

“Mon-El,” she sighed as her eyes fluttered open and he watched her. “Hurry,” she said. “I won’t be able to last long,” she shook her head, a blush rising on her cheeks and beginning to trail down her neck.

He kissed her cheek, pulling her close. “I don’t care, Kara. Give me whatever you have. It’s more than enough.”

She moved off of him, removing her underwear as he did the same before she returned to his lap.

“I love you so much,” she whispered, her forehead pressing into his.

“Me too. More than anyone else ever, Kara.”

She rose up on her knees as she hovered over him. He took hold of his cock, sliding it along her sex, making use of her desire for him as he readied himself for her. She stilled his hand and aligned her body with his, slowly working herself to sink down on him. She drew him inside of her to the hilt, falling down on him until their pelvises rested together tightly. His forehead fell to the crook of her neck.

“Kara,” he breathed.

“I know,” she nodded in agreement as her hands weaved through his hair, holding him tightly to her.

His head rose from her shoulder and his lips connected with hers gently. She rose up on her knees again before sinking back down on him, meeting his slow thrust and forming a rhythm. It wasn’t long before she felt her thighs shaking and she was sure her hands and the rest of her body must be, too; the emotion of having him return to her and the feelings he evoked inside of her all too much at once.

“Help me?” she asked, tugging his hands to her thighs as she moved above him. He gripped her skin tightly as he lifted her body in time with his thrusts. He could feel her quivering above him and he saw the tears beginning to cloud her irises as she watched him.

“You okay?” he asked quietly.

She nodded repeatedly. “It’s just a lot right now…” she trailed off, running her hand through his hair.

“I know,” he agreed before he moved them, leaning forward so that her back rested on the mattress, his body on top of hers as their chests pressed together tightly. He barely moved inside of her now, shallowly thrusting as he just held her close.

One of his hands slid down between them, the pad of his thumb flicking against her clit. Her eyebrows furrowed as she squirmed beneath him. His hand was persistent, his eyes focusing on every feature of her face; how she tugged her bottom lip into her mouth, the flush of her cheeks, the way her crinkle made itself known, knitting her eyebrows together in concentration.

Her hands were on his shoulders, gripping tightly when suddenly one rushed between them, landing on his, stopping him from moving it between her legs.

“Too--too much,” she shook her head and he nodded, wrapping both arms around her, one hand cradling her neck, the other wrapping all the way around her behind her back to hold her opposite hip. His thrusting sped up slightly as he held her in place, her legs winding around his hips, her feet locking at his lower back.

“Let go, Kara. It’s okay, I’m here.”

A small sob escaped her as she wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders, tugging his face to rest in the crook of her neck as she felt her orgasm nearing; the tingling starting at her toes as they curled, before rushing up to her thighs, her stomach clenching and releasing as she felt her walls fluttering around his cock.

“Mon-El…”

“It’s okay, Kara, it’s okay,” he breathed into her neck.

She felt the tears falling down her cheeks again as she came in his arms, but they were happy tears this time. _So happy_.

He stilled above her, his thrusting slowing as he paused to watch her. She shook her head.

“No, keep going,” she whispered. He nodded as he began to move inside of her again; her riding out her orgasm as he chased after his own. It wasn’t long before he felt that pull inside of him; his balls tightening, his cock twitching as he lost control of his hips, their flexing off tempo as he thrusted. When he came, he heard her gasp at his ear as he released inside of her, the intrusion surprising her, but she pulled him close as she mumbled comforting words at his cheek as he groaned through his climax.

He felt his arms becoming weak and when he could no longer hold himself above her, and he slid down to her, their chests pressing together again as he tried to stable himself on his elbows and forearms above her. Her hands were wiping at his cheeks as she smiled at him and he realized that he must be crying, too.

He started to pull out of her, a blush forming on his cheeks as he tried to blink away the tears in his eyes while he watched where they were joined, “Sorry, I forgot to ask…”

She shook her head. “I don’t care,” she smiled, “I’m still taking my birth control…out of habit. And I wanted you to do it. All of you, remember?”

He flashed back to the moment she’d asked him to make love to her; words he’d thought he’d never hear come from her mouth again. “I remember…”

She yawned widely.

“Okay,” he started with a light chuckle, “now I _know_ you’re tired.” She smiled lazily at him. “Stay here,” he whispered before he pecked her lips in a kiss.

He sped away and returned with a washcloth and proceeded to clean her up. She simply watched him with a smile on her face, her fingers running through his hair. He found her a set of pyjamas of her own this time before plopping her down on the sofa at the end of the bed. He supersped as he changed the sheets, cleaned himself off and slid them both under the covers, each of them on their rightful sides. He smiled at her when they were situated and both lying still; her eyes were fluttering as if she was trying to force herself to stay awake.

“Go to sleep, Kara. You’re tired.”

“I don’t want to close my eyes,” she whispered, barely audible.

“You have to,” he chuckled lightly. “You have to sleep.”

“Tell me this isn’t a dream?” her eyes searched his. He took her hand, pulling it to his chest, placing it across his beating heart.

“This isn’t a dream, Kara.”

“You’ll still be here when I wake up?” she questioned, and his eyes softened sadly, his heart breaking as he realized how lost they had both been without each other.

“I’ll still be here.”

“I hated waking up without you…”

“Me too,” he sighed, his other hand sliding to her hip, tugging her toward him, barely an inch of space resting between their bodies as she hooked her thigh over his waist. “I’m not going anywhere. Never again. You’re stuck with me forever,” he chuckled again, his hand stroking through her hair as his other gripped her hand tighter against his chest.

“Good,” she sighed as she allowed herself to finally close her eyes.

“I love you,” he whispered against her forehead before placing a kiss there. She smiled as she relaxed in his arms.

“I love you, too.”

 

_END_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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